Fall conferences usually land six to eight weeks into the school year. For some concerns, that’s a reasonable timeline. For others, it’s far too long. In the final episode of our back-to-school mini-series, I talked with Rachel Schopp, founder of Allied Education, about what’s actually worth raising with a new teacher right away, and what can genuinely wait.
Some Concerns Can't Wait
Certain things need attention on day one, not week six. Documented plans — IEPs, 504s, formal behavior plans — fall into this category, since they carry legal weight and often require a meeting early in the year to review goals. Safety issues belong here too: allergies, medical needs, anything a teacher needs to know immediately to keep a child safe. Academic gaps deserve the same urgency, especially if a child has struggled for more than one year running. A reading gap that’s been building since kindergarten isn’t something to mention casually at October conferences — it’s worth a direct conversation before the first week is even over.
Separate the Pattern From the Person
One of the trickiest parts of this conversation comes up when last year was genuinely hard. A new teacher can’t fix what happened with a previous one, and naming a former teacher — even accurately — tends to make the current one defensive rather than receptive. Rachel’s guidance: frame the conversation around the pattern your child experienced, not the person responsible for it. Instead of describing how a former teacher handled things poorly, describe what your child struggled with and what you hope goes differently this year. “My child had a hard time feeling connected at school last year, and I’d love for this year to feel different” gets the concern across without dragging a colleague into it. A new teacher, hearing that framing, tends to lean in rather than brace for blame.
Specific Beats Vague, Every Time
Vague concerns are hard for a teacher to act on, even a well-meaning one. Saying a child “struggles with transitions” doesn’t tell a teacher much — kids transition dozens of times a day, and that phrase could mean almost anything. A more useful version names exactly what happens: a child tends to get in trouble every time they line up next to a particular friend, for example. That kind of detail gives a teacher something concrete to solve, like changing where a child stands in line. Vagueness often comes from nerves — a parent worried about saying the wrong thing ends up saying very little, and leaves the conversation feeling like nothing actually got resolved.
Prepare Before You Walk In
An in-person conversation tends to land better than an email lost among dozens of others, but it works best with a little preparation. Rachel recommends walking in with three specific points, written down if it helps, so nerves or emotion don’t derail the conversation partway through. Bring documentation if it exists — a copy of last year’s behavior plan, a recent IEP or 504. Lead with strengths, not just struggles, and end with a clear, specific ask: a particular seat, a particular line position, a particular thing to watch for on the playground. A teacher who leaves that meeting with something concrete to act on is far more likely to follow through than one who leaves with a general sense that something was hard last year.
Reading Whether a Teacher Is Receptive
Three signs tend to indicate a teacher is genuinely taking a concern seriously: they’re taking notes, they’re asking follow-up questions, and they name a concrete next step before the meeting ends — an email recap, a specific plan, a date to check back in. If those signs are missing, it’s worth noticing and keeping track. A follow-up email summarizing the conversation creates a paper trail either way, and if six weeks pass with no visible follow-through, that email becomes useful again, this time with an administrator or instructional coach copied in.
The Long Game: Being Known
Beyond any single conversation, Rachel’s broader advice for the school year is simpler than any script: be known. Being known by the principal, the teacher, even the lunch staff and after-school team builds a kind of goodwill that pays off well beyond one classroom or one year. It doesn’t require grand gestures — a note in a backpack, an offer to help cut out classroom materials, a small thank-you here and there all count. A parent who shows up as a collaborative, familiar presence tends to get more attention and more grace when something does go wrong, simply because the relationship already exists.
That idea closes out this series well. Across all four episodes, one thread keeps showing up: relationships, built early and maintained with curiosity instead of blame, make almost everything else easier — the transitions, the routines, the hard conversations, all of it.
If your family could use support navigating a tough school year or advocating for your kid, our team at Integrated Behavioral Health is here to help.
- Rachel Schopp / Allied Education: @youreducationally
- Kids These Days episode on IEPs and 504 Plans
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