Picky eating. Those two words can send shivers down the spine of even the most seasoned parent. As a child psychologist with experience in feeding and picky eating therapy, I’ve spent countless hours listening to parents express their anxieties, frustrations, and sheer exhaustion surrounding their child’s eating habits. Rest assured, you are not alone. Picky eating, particularly during the toddler and preschool years, is incredibly common. In fact, it’s often a normal part of development as children begin to assert their independence and explore the world around them, including the fascinating world of food.
Delving Deeper: The Roots of Picky Eating
While it’s easy to label a child as “picky,” it’s important to understand the underlying reasons behind their food preferences. Here’s a glimpse into the complex world of the picky eater:
- Sensory Sensitivities: Imagine experiencing the world with heightened senses. For some children, the taste, texture, smell, and even the visual presentation of food can be overwhelming. A slight bitterness, a mushy texture, or an unfamiliar aroma can be enough to trigger a refusal. This is where feeding therapy can be incredibly beneficial.
- Fear of the New: Fear of new or unfamiliar things is a natural instinct that’s particularly strong in young children. This innate caution can extend to food, making them hesitant to try anything they haven’t encountered before. Feeding therapy often uses gradual desensitization techniques to help children overcome this fear.
- The Quest for Control: As children develop, they crave autonomy and control over their environment. Mealtimes can become a battleground where they exert their independence by refusing food. This can be especially prevalent in households with strong-willed children. Feeding therapy can help parents and children navigate these power struggles in a positive way.
- Underlying Medical Conditions: While less common, picky eating can sometimes be a symptom of underlying medical conditions such as gastrointestinal issues, allergies, or sensory processing disorders. It’s crucial to consult your pediatrician to rule out any medical concerns.
Navigating the Picky Eater Maze: A Psychologist's Toolkit
Now that we have a better understanding of the “why” behind picky eating, let’s explore some practical strategies grounded in psychology and feeding therapy to help you navigate this challenging terrain:
- Cultivate a Calm and Positive Atmosphere: Mealtimes should be enjoyable, not a source of stress and anxiety. Avoid power struggles, pressure tactics, and negative comments about food. Instead, create a relaxed and positive environment where children feel comfortable exploring new tastes and textures. This is a cornerstone of feeding therapy.
- Empower with Choices: Offering limited choices can give children a sense of control and agency. Instead of dictating what they must eat, try presenting two or three healthy options and let them choose. “Would you like steamed broccoli or carrot sticks with your dinner?” can make a world of difference.
- Infuse Fun and Creativity: Transform mealtimes into exciting adventures. Cut sandwiches into fun shapes, involve children in age-appropriate cooking tasks, or create themed meals like “Taco Tuesday” or “Friday Pizza Night.” Making food fun can increase children’s willingness to try new things. These are also common techniques used in feeding therapy.
- The Power of Repeated Exposure: Research suggests that it can take multiple exposures (sometimes up to 10-15!) before a child accepts a new food. Don’t give up after the first rejection. Continue to offer the food in different ways and alongside familiar favorites. Feeding therapy can provide guidance on how to do this effectively.
- Be a Role Model: Children are incredibly observant and learn by watching the adults in their lives. Demonstrate healthy eating habits by enjoying a variety of foods yourself. Talk about the flavors, textures, and how the food makes you feel.
- Accentuate the Positive: Focus on celebrating any attempts to try new foods, no matter how small. A simple “I love how you took a bite of your broccoli!” can go a long way in building confidence and encouraging further exploration.
Tapping into SPACE: Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions
Picky eating can often be intertwined with anxiety. Children may feel anxious about trying new foods, worried about textures or tastes, or fearful of negative consequences if they don’t eat. This is where a type of therapy called Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) can be a valuable tool. SPACE emphasizes:
- Reducing parental accommodation: This means gradually reducing the ways in which parents accommodate their child’s picky eating, such as making separate meals or allowing them to avoid certain foods altogether.
- Supporting the child’s autonomy: SPACE encourages parents to give their child choices and control over their eating, while still setting clear limits and expectations.
- Responding to anxiety with support and validation: Instead of dismissing or minimizing their child’s anxiety, parents learn to acknowledge and validate their feelings while encouraging them to face their fears.
By incorporating SPACE principles into your approach, you can help your child manage their anxiety around food and develop a healthier relationship with eating.
Harnessing the Power of PCIT-Health: PREPARED Skills for Picky Eaters
Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) is a powerful evidence-based approach that helps strengthen parent-child relationships and address challenging behaviors. While traditionally used for behavioral issues, PCIT-Health has emerged as an effective intervention for picky eating. This specialized adaptation focuses on building positive mealtime interactions and promoting healthy eating habits.
One of the core components of PCIT-Health is the use of PREPARED skills. This acronym stands for:
- Avoid Skills:
- Pressuring to eat: This refers to coercing or bribing your child to eat more, eat different food, or to eat at a particular speed.Â
- Over-Restriction of Foods: We want to avoid preventing your child from ever eating certain foods that are desirable or making some foods forbidden.
- Eating as a Reward:Â Giving food to your child in response to their performance or as a bribe should be avoided. For instance, we usually have families give dessert on certain days of the week vs. when their child finishes their plate or tries certain foods.
- Withholding food as Punishment:Â Do not keep food or treats from your child as a consequence for misbehavior.
- Do Skills:
- Praise Health Mealtime Behavior:Â We want you to use labeled praise for healthy and positive mealtime behaviors such as choosing healthy foods and staying seated at the table.
- Allow Child Choices About Food: You should let your child select from the food options you provide.
- Recognize When Your Child is Full:Â It’s important to notice signs that your child is full and allow them to stop eating. We don’t want to give in to avoidance strategies, however!
- Structure the Mealtime Environment: This refers to offering a range of healthy food choices, creating consistent mealtime routines, and reducing distractions.
- Describe Mealtime Activities:Â This is the one I find to be the most beneficial! Describe your child’s appropriate mealtime behavior, the food they eat, and your child’s food experiences. This helps them stay focused and engaged in the meal!
By consistently using PREPARED skills during mealtimes, parents can create a positive and supportive environment that encourages their child to explore new foods and develop healthy eating habits. PCIT-Health also helps parents learn to set effective limits and manage challenging behaviors related to food, such as tantrums or refusal to eat.
When to Seek Professional Guidance, Including Feeding Therapy
While picky eating is often a phase, there are times when seeking professional help is warranted. If your child’s picky eating is severe, causing significant distress, impacting their growth and development, or leading to nutritional deficiencies, it’s important to consult a specialist. A child psychologist or registered dietitian specializing in pediatric feeding therapy can provide tailored strategies and support.
The Takeaway: Patience, Persistence, and Positivity
Remember, parenting a picky eater requires patience, persistence, and a positive approach. By understanding the reasons behind their behavior, implementing evidence-based strategies, and seeking support when needed, including feeding therapy, you can help your child develop a healthy and happy relationship with food.
Feeding therapy comes in a variety of packages and it’s important to better understand the “why” behind the picky eating. If you’re interested in learning more about our approach to picky eating, please contact us today at 720-856-0400 or info@integratedbhs.com. You can also visit our therapist page to learn more about our various therpaists.